I have answered every possible question you could ever have about me
If you enjoy hearing my voice, boy do I have good news for you
I am a celebrity for about two weeks every other year. Whenever I have a book coming out, I line up a shitload of interviews and try very hard to make all of them interesting even to those who loathe me and everything I stand for.
Last month, I recorded something like 25 hours of podcast appearances, in addition to a written piece and a reddit AMA. Here they are, all in one place. If this is the first you’re hearing about the new novel, you can get it at Amazon (including audio), Barnes and Noble, or Bookshop! Or wherever you like to buy books.
* I did this column about old-fashioned anti-masturbation machines, which were all the rage in the Victorian era. These were steampunk gadgets designed to be worn on the penis, at all times if need be. It’s a whimsical and terrifying reminder that the past absolutely sucked.
* I spent several hours answering dozens of questions on reddit, usually at length and in more detail than was even warranted. They’re all here.
Podcasts in which I was a guest discussing some interesting and/or ridiculous subject:
* I talked about the ludicrous Bigfoot hunting show Mountain Monsters on the Dogg Zzone with former Cracked people Seanbaby and Robert Brockway. At one point I was laughing so hard they had to stop the show.
* I was on this epic four-part series about the (real) CIA mind-control program MKUltra with Robert Evans. No conspiracy theories here; this is about the actual clusterfuck that ruined a whole lot of lives in pursuit of fantasy mind-control chemicals:
On Quick Question with Soren & Dan, I talked about the only “supernatural” thing that has ever happened to me: A piece of jewelry vanished, and reappeared hours later in the same spot, with no possible explanation.
* On the Secretly Incredibly Fascinating podcast we talked about how an incredibly simple invention utterly changed the course of history in two separate ways. That invention is barbed wire.
* On the Frame Rate film discussion podcast we talked about Jordan Peele’s Nope, and our habit of trying to parse the symbolism behind every frame of a film. Does analysis ruin the experience?
* On the We Just Watched podcast we talked about the horrific-yet-powerful Korean revenge movie I Saw the Devil and discussed the morality of getting even.
* Here you can actually see me on the Cracked Movie Club YouTube show reviewing the underrated(?) sci-fi horror film Event Horizon.
* On the Creature Feature podcast we talked about animals that communicate purely through disgusting filth and get into some interesting discussion about sense organs.
* On the current events podcast Even More News we talked about the stupid moral panics that come around every Halloween, usually about tainted candy. Also, Kanye.
* On the other current events podcast The Daily Zeitgeist we talked about politics and the limit of campaign strategies that depend on calling your opponent a monster.
Here are various podcasts in which I was interviewed, discussing the creative process, my career, and all that kind of thing:
* This is Horror, a two-part interview:
* The Macabre...ish podcast, in three parts:
* The Book Reviews Kill podcast
* The Bulwark Goes to Hollywood podcast
* The Mostly Harmless podcast
* The Wrath of the iOtians podcast (extra points to whoever gets the reference in their name without looking it up).
* The Castle of Horror podcast
* The Authors and Dragons Podcast
Also during that period I joined TikTok and in a couple of months built up nearly 30,000 followers while posting 120 or so videos that have been seen by something like 15 million people. That means that, mathematically, we’re approaching the point where more people have watched my TikToks than have read my writing over the last eight years or so. I am not equipped for any of this and it has turned me into a cold, exhausted husk. My current schedule allows for a brief vacation of exactly zero days before pivoting to finish editing Zoey book 3 and writing the all-new book due at the end of 2023.
Get If This Book, You’re in the Wrong Universe at Amazon (including audio), Barnes and Noble, or Bookshop. Follow me on TikTok or Twitter or any of the other platforms, just search my name.
As a kid, I became convinced that there existed “time-shifters” - I’d loose my stuff for hours, days, weeks and then eventually find it again in a spot I was sure I’d searched several times.
As an adult, I realised it was mostly due to my ADHD, and could be magicked away with meds. But to this day, I’m somewhat of a wiz at finding stuff; Practice makes perfect I guess!
It really feels like all the TikTok views are bots lol. Dead-Internet Theory getting more real every day.